Yeah, because there are hard times when you think they push you too much and too hard. – That’s what I went through for the past week . And gosh, it seemed long !
The fact is that, most of the times, the more you work and open yourself, the more the Gods and Spirits rush through. Since I didn’t only want to be a devotee, but wanted to “experience” deities, and somehow uttered the wish of listening to them (and serve), they got me literally. They took me at my words. So on the way, I felt more and more indeed, I was able to hear them and respond. But what I hadn’t seen coming, is that it went quicker than I planned, was more efficient !
There are times, rare times but still more frequent than for most people, when I am totally open. What does that mean ? It means that any entity that passes by can come and communicate with and through me. Dead peole, Gods, Spirits, and the like. The difficulty is when they come and speak all together at the same time. Yes, it’s possible. Even if it’s only one powerful deity or spirit that possess you fully it can be disturbing. The thing is that you go through the great danger (peril?) of losing yourself : you really can go mad. You can lose the sense of what is real and what is not, what is there and what is not, of who you are, what you’re capable of and so on.
What happens is that you benefit for a short period of the subtle and perfect view of the Spirit(s) and/or God(s). It is not human, it is different and “higher” in a way. That’s is why it is so hard to grasp. When the Gods and Spirits are too close to you, or too present in your open mind, you can lose your self, literally, your ego. You see most of the times with their eyes, but still a little with yours, which produces a very disturbing dephasing effect. It seems inappropriate, impossible, crazy… It sets you apart from people, from things, from the world.
When you are the type of person who commits himself for real, to the Spirits and Gods, you are likely to be answered. The Gods and Spirits show you what you look for, sometimes even more what you should look for. And in such cases of “full opening”, when they all show you things you seemingly did not ask, it’s harsh for you. It feel as if the Gods and Spirits are forcing you things you don’t want to, you didn’t ask for, as if they are bullying you. In fact it is only an impression most of the time, due to the fact that they are so close (or “up there” in your mind) that you can’t see clearly. – Plus the fact you often forgot that you committed and asked.
The thing is that it’s hard anyway for anyone to endure. And often, we lose control progressively without realising it we tend to “elevate” ourselves from the soil since we are turned towards subtile vibrations, thoughts, and visions (which is more linked to air and ether). So as I figured out, help by Sarenth in the process, the best thing in such cases, with the fright, the doubts, and the like, it to shut up. I mean, use whatever means you can to detach yourself from all of it, any feelings you have. For this use silence (not writing, not talking), and make grounding exercice. It will help you detach from the situation, but also from what is put into your head by the Gods and Spirits, and finally, it’s also a way to detach from your “lost”, doubting self so as to find your way back in the end. Be patient, wait for the moment when the tempest cools down and allows you to see.