Dionysos & I, a weird relationship

This was originally the piece I wrote for Sannion’s coming book on Dionysos Ecstatic.

Distant respect

I feel weird, deeply humble by the attention that Dionysos has developed for me for the past 6 months. I did not look for him, I did not worship him regularly, and yet he came – insistently. I was a little scared at the beginning because he showed me his dark and savage face, a huge shadow for a God of the Wild – maybe it was his Lord of the Forest look. Needless to say, I was highly impressed. But then, it appeared that he had some things to say to me. So I struggled to find what, and finally I found Sannion’s blog; two week later I learned that he was delivering oracles for Dionysos himself. It was too huge a sign! I wrote down an email. And the mystery began to grow.

For indeed, the God, even if I knew him since my adolescence, was a stranger to me; I never really approached him since I became a polytheist. So why would he take an interest in me? Why now? Why would he help? I’ve not found all the answers yet, but it is true nevertheless that he stays along my spiritual path, as a kind of watcher. He seems to feel like putting me back on track when I’m lost, even if I don’t ask anything. I doubted, as anyone would have I guess. I was skeptical, I didn’t want to project my will on him. So I just observed, and didn’t draw conclusions about his presence. But I couldn’t help being disturbed, all the more so since the oracles I got from him (thanks to Sannion’s intermediary) were mind blowing. No, I mean, really, really, mind blowing. It was so accurate, deep, long term, very precise about what kind of person I am, and what life is ahead of me. I can’t give the details here, but Sannion can confirm the depth of his “prophecies”. Since September 2010, omens have been plenty to highlight what he wanted to tell; about my personal evolution, and about my path as a mystic pagan. It appeared that he showed me that my visions since adolescence were true, and all that I felt about many gods and spirits was true too. He helped me in the harsh process of lifting (up?) my fears I had been struggling with, helped me too grasping my personal self and potential, and, what was truly amazing, he helped me in my relationship with my Matron Goddess, Morrigan. The piling up was really awe-inspiring.

The Gods are supposed to be perfection, so I shouldn’t have been surprised by the clarity and deep truth he held about my life. And yet, coming from his mouth, a God that was not close to me, it was disturbing. And seeing that he had close relationship to some deities of my Celtic and Gaulish pantheon left me very puzzled, I would never have thought such inter-pantheon understanding was possible. Or maybe I wondered about the possibility, but it was far more intense to experience it than just assume. Such clarity and acuteness, about everything, was bewildering. He offered me such a right perception of Morrigan (and others), and knew our relationship so well from the outside, it was very humbling. And I still don’t know why he came, why he cares.

However, since then I have added him to my working pantheon, and from time to time I do offerings to him. It’s strange that we are not close and yet have a deep bond, sharing thoughts about my path. There’s a very powerful respect on both sides, but we look at each other from a distance. Despite these strange facts, it’s one of the most authentic and direct relationship I have to a God.

Valiel, French polytheist.

January 2011

Spirits are always right

– It’s just that we misinterpret.

A very controversial sentence indeed, but on purpose, to make people think about it. Spirits and Gods sometimes fool us, we know that, either just to be “mean” or to test us. But most of the time, when they send you a vision, a message, I think it’s true.

At least for myself it has always been true since the very beginning. And I thought about an experience that I had “forgotten” for 6 months : a shapeshifting with the ant, that I supposed was of no “importance”, or not a message sent on purpose at least. Yet it came at a very crucial moment : my retirement from the internet and the city, during the summer holiday, my annual trip when I can disappear into nature and contemplation. I was thus pondering on the past year and my struggling with the Gods, with my path. In the afternoon under the sun, in the sand of the garden, I was wondering if I had the strength and guts to take a spiritual “charge”/function as I looked for (and was shown to me) when I made this very short but intense experience : I made a short “trip” into the life of an ant (shapeshifting). Considering my little tiny size and the huge size of the entreprise (the public charge), I felt ridicule and unappropriate, I even thought my ego had won over me. So I decided to take this as a sign of the need to work in the shadow, to learn humility.

But in August when I came back and talked to Sannion, he offered me a different perspective – which revealed itself to me true one month ago :

The ant is indeed a small and humble creature – but that’s not what truly stands out about them, or at least didn’t for the ancients. The ant devotes its whole life, its whole being to its work. It has no interests, no social ties outside of the work that it does. Continually it’s storing up food, building tunnels, etc. while the other insects play. Maybe what the vision is indicating is that that is likewise the path of priesthood you should pursue, a path of service and dedication.

I guess it was not just a random experience, it was really a test and message from the Spirits and Gods, and I misinterpreted it for 6 months. So what ? They came back rushing onto me (see the previous article) in order to show me directly this time without possible errror. Sannion, my friend, you were right from the beginning. The ant is a metaphor of my spiritual life to come, a very hard life of complete service and devotion, of charges and responsabilities, because they chose so, and because I have the abilities.