It has been years now, almost 4 years or more, that I have been polytheist. In my spiritual life and quest I have grown into a polytheist, then a “hard polytheist”, and been born to my faith many many times, each time deeper.
But yesterday,was different. Thursday April 28, I was born as if for the first time as a pagan polytheist. Because yesterday I made the most significant step of my progressive coming out : I discussed publically of my faith, in a public place, with people I’ve known only for a year (my partner’s closest friends) and “confess” that I’m a polytheist. And by the way they are catholic, maybe even fervent catholic I don’t really know. I feel very weird that the bomb didn’t explode, that they did not faint or run away, or burn me on a stake. They are intelligent, sensible people and yet I was surprise by their very acute, intelligent questions.
– I feel relieved, I feel free.
For the first time in all my attemps, I took entire responsability, I made them pronounce the word for me and yet it was the most direct conversation I had on this topic: accepting to tell, to say that I believe in God, in many Gods, even in all the Gods ; I said yes for the Greek pantheon, I said yes when they said Thor and Odin… (damn’ and the movie’s just been out) – And I’m still alive ! I feel weird but I don’t feel ashamed.
Synchronicities are just perfect. I just saw very quickly checking my messages “Pagan Coming Out Day”, I saw Sannion’d written an article about the closet… but didn’t have time to read, I just had wonders and the idea on my mind… and then this particular night, this dinner at the restaurant, where we comically evoked Pre-colombian Gods, and then raised the fatal question : what do I believe in ? That was it. I thought about this label I hadn’t time to identify (PCOD), and inside a very second I decided to tell the truth, to stop hiding. And Gosh I feel… so intensely great! I think it was the last time I would stay quiet and miserable, removed from society and such topics of conversation. I finally feel totally ‘clean’ with my partner, who’s an absolute now believer. Now I don’t feel like I’m keeping things from him, and there won’t be no drama scene when I move in with all my practice stuff. Now I’m going to live my life fully and wholly integrate my spirituality. No shame of what I am, only confidence in life and the Gods. No more books hiding, or lies about what my shrine is… No more.
And I feel thankful to the Gods, I feel blessed to be a polytheist.
I wish your Pagan Coming Out Day will feel as great as mine.