When there is a calling, when the path is defined ahead of us, the struggling is constant. For me, events and proofs had to pile up until I could no longer deny or doubt. It had to bring me to the verge of tears – the verge of sanity where I couldn’t take it anymore, so that I could no longer hesitate.
The last alternative : go mad or accept who/what you are.
I think it really won’t be easy anyway, but each time that I will struggle, I’ll remind myself of all these difficulties : if you don’t think you are mad, then accept.