Silence is the Law

And here I am again – being presented to Silence as a necessity.

It breaks my heart, because I feel such an urge to discuss, and share, and write… but I am told that Silence is the Law that needs to settle. It feels great, the Silence, but I still don’t manage to adopt it as my new cloak. I’m doing better because I stopped sharing so many details of my path (when it’s private, telling you my experiences at the Père Lachaise are both a pleasure and a work I am asked), I write by metaphors or allusions where before I used to explain everything. But Silence is so precious… so peaceful, and the Spirits ask me again to dive into it.

So since this new month is the beginning of my Sacred Year, and opens with Death in every corner, I’d like to do something special. And so, as I mentioned, even if it will be very hard for me I will do a month of virtual silenc. This blog and my private projects will be closed, or at least put aside, and if I can I’ll also reduce my presence on boards and (your) blogs. There will be no articles, no news. Only emails for those who are already deep in conversation with me. I need to be off, and to be closer to my family, especially the Dead and my Ancestors.

Paeonia Rockii – by Linda Elvira Piedra

Silence is the Law.

An antique quote on death

Thank you so much Sannion, it resonates with my Sacred Work with the Dead. I’ll have new matter to ponder.

“Those who have led a mediocre existence, who are the majority, wander through the meadow without their bodies, transformed into shadows imperceptible to the touch, like smoke. They feed on the libations we make to them here, and on the offerings we consecrate before their graves. Thus, unless some friend or relative on earth remembers him, this dead man would remain without eating and would live hungry among the other shadows.”

– Lucian, On Mourning 9

Original page

November is the cruellest month…

Note : Reference to T.S.Eliot, The Waste Land : “April is the cruellest month…”

November begins with Samhain for the Celts, Winter Nights in the Ancient Norse Culture. It’s both the closing of one year and the opening of another, marking the transition of the seasons. It inspires me so much things that no article could allow me to clear my mind and write about it.

Last year I was touched by an intense sickness that changed me on all levels – and my life completely too. (In fact it even resulted into two diseases, which doubled the intensity of the process and evolution) I had got hints during this long journey, many many times, but now…. now I am arriving at the end, I can feel it, and it is very weird. Now I know, I’ll never be the same anymore. The Journey was long and multifold. I underwent a deep and numerous series of initiations which also changed me forever, for it brought both experiences and knowledge that can’t be put away and alter one’s comprehension and relation to everything. Despite this blog for example, and my constant efforts at giving hints at my path, I’ve been forced to dive into Silence. Taboo of the spirits, and holy silence, about and around the mysteries. It is impossible to make a final account of all this, it is way too huge, as it was almost too huge for me to experience.

It broke me apart actually. Last year I died – several times. I killed my soul, poisoned my body, and the spirits took the ultimate resources they had to help me once and for all : they used violence and harsh means. They struck me, abandoned me, cut me down and off…. and when they were back, after having put me in the gentle hands of the Morrigan and Dionysos to give me some strength and initiate me further, they broke me down again. They didn’t let me rest until I was down on my knees in front of my bed crying and screaming because I was lost, because the truth hurts. They put it all on me and brought me to the edge letting me no choice : tell yourself you’re crazy and let your soul die, or grow the fuck up and deal with it…. if you don’t want to live oh that’s fine, but don’t lie about it, don’t hide it, choose it properly (don’t poison yourself). But if you want to live, if you have enough self-respect, then accept what we show you and what you are. So yes, I died, several times. But the Spirits also put the pieces back together, several times. They healed me, they sew me back, my body, my limbs… and my soul. They bore me in their belly for a year, and brought me to the world again.

It’s been a little more than a year now, a year and one month or two, since it began. And I just begin to realise, like, really see and integrate how huge it was. Fate put on my path signs to reveal more, the depth of it. Coincidence that it ended with a long trip to the American continent exactly at this aniversary date ? A sort of pilgrimage… To what ? To my soul I think, partly. A kind of parenthesis between the worlds – again. A breach through the healing process. A new phase of silence from the spirits and gods…. to find myself back, to have time for myself, to allow me things… to take time, to observe. One page of my life (or many!) seems to be closing, and yet everything is new. Everything begins. And what more was I needing to realise, when it strangely closes at this pivotal moment of Winter Nights ?

Yeah… I think Spirits love to teach us and insist on some things. It’s just another way to say “yes, it’s all about death, again“. Death is my arriving point. And even if I am just back, I’ll have to resume the work. After such a trial, I’ll have to do the holy celebration and honor the dead, mostly my ancestors. What better way and moment to do this, after such a journey of mine ? Because it is obvious that my ancestors were around me all along the way even when I felt alone… And after having changed so much, I need time for myself and I have to accept it without feeling guilty. I need loneliness, quiet, and a hearth and / or home. And where is my home if not among my Ancestors and in the House of the Dead ? It is so clear now… and this sign is too big. I’ve come Home.

“November is the cruellest month”, because it collects the aniversaries of the death of my closest family members, plus my first beloved cat which was hit long ago by a car. It marked my youth, both these deaths themselves and the fact that they were added to this month magnetically. I’ve always wondered even back then if Fate was trying to tell something. And it did… I just refused it till the first day, the first death. As for now, it is so meaningful and awe-inspiring that this new sacred year coincides with my personal trial year, and starts with a serious aniversary month, which I will then celebrate all the more intensely since my practice is being re-centered around the Dead and Ancestors. It is a pretty significant opening after a year of harsh initiations and for a new year of empowerment to which I engage. It is obvious that I have to plan and involve to find my personal roots and the roots of my spiritual power, as I have begun to do. To continue the work I have been asked, and find who I am. This means a lot of work of course… but actually, for once, I am not scared. No I am rather really glad…. and at peace.

I might do a month of “virtual silence” for the occasion… if I manage ! Or maybe a series of shots around this topic ? I also realise that I have to take back my drafts of a personal holy calendar… (By the way Ryan, you really inspired me with yours !)

Hail to Lady Hel

I have to reblog this marvellous piece which tore my heart, for it contains pieces of truth that ring deeply. Could sum up many of the things I’ve experienced in my relationship with Lady Hel.

The Halls of Helheim

Few alive have seen

Death’s home and Dead’s abode

Yet here within the splendorous Halls

We all may find a home

Perhaps on plains we take our rest

Upon grain and well-turned earth

Perhaps by river or field or fen

Our rest is finally earned

Perhaps in cave so hollow

Yet sweet-smelling and richly warm

Sweet Hel has a place for us

A place we are reborn

She tends to all the newly Dead

And old who’ve taken rest

All those who have taken leave of Life

Come to Her generous breast

We lay our head upon Her home

Some stay but for a while

When we leave She does not grieve

Her Gate it opens wide

For in Her a part of us remains

Waiting our return in time

So when the Dead leave your home

In gurney, mound or grave

Celebrate Life’s giving way

And new Life that is made

Hail to the Lady Hel

To Mordgud Guardian in black

Hail to the Dead our lives are owed

We all are coming back!

via Hail to Lady Hel.

Funny Anniversary !

Oh this is sooo nice and perfectly coincidental !

Both for the literary side and the animist work of mine, I had to post before I go to town again. Fellows, it is the great anniversary of Moby Dick by the immense Herman Melville.  The Whale Spirit really is insisting…

 

PS : New York City is really impressive by the way…

Off

A message in advance.

I’ll be off the internet from 28th September to 22d October. I’ll be travelling abroad to North America : Québec – Montreal – New York.

If you live in these cities or of you know “pagans” who do, feel free to contact me.

PS : I’ve also edited this page before I leave.

******

Update. The St. Lawrence is marvellous. The Cruise was sublime, I’ve seen so many whales! We slept in a very old house by the sea, which I think is ‘haunted’ (so by the way it appears I can see Dead people again…) The Saguenay Fjord is wooooooww, I just don’t have any word for all the wonders and beauties we’ve seen.