So I’m late, it’s already the night, but I had promised myself I would try this today, it’s been a week already since I postoned…. so at least I’ll introduce the idea anyway.
It’s been on my mind for quite some time now. Freyja is an already well known Goddess, she doesn’t look like she’s having trouble having devotees, lovers, etc compared to some others. But I… I don’t know. I have felt an urge to write about Her, to share the love, even though I’m a nobody somewhere on the Internet, lost into the ocean of blogs. I don’t have the hubris of wanting, even hoping, to write some “Freyja’s Lovenotes”, which are so needed into the world. But, at least I wish to to talk about the sweetness of her lessons, the so well known pieces of advice on self-esteem and selfcare – but, you know, those which are so hard to follow nevertheless? If I have time, if I feel comfortable about it, I could also talk about magic teachings and Valkyrie initiations, among others, because She has a lot to teach, a lof of skills and domains. But I am unsure I’ll be able, might be to intimate. What’s very strange… is that the lessons on body, self-care, care of the mind, one’s esteem etc, are actually very difficult tasks; also, things that would put me into an uncomfortable position as it would expose some of my vulnerabilities…. But, strangely, I am directed to write about that.
I don’t feel strong enough and confident enough to do a whole month, like a “Month for Freyja” kind of thing (even if that would be awesome that everybody shared!), but I wish to propose bit by bit of Freyja’s fragments. Which would, always, be posted on Friday, even though not necessarily every Friday. It would feel easier than the huuuugggeee article I had kept as a draft (seriously) for months, maybe even a year now, which is so intimitating that I never wrote it.
For this first, introductory post, I will state something that always makes me wonder: Freyja has a strange feeling of “home” about her.
Maybe that is something that is solely linked to me, what I am, what I need, and what Face she chooses to show me, how she behaves with me. But, she has this intense, very intense totally quiet quality. Don’t get me wrong, I have worked with the very silent Sigyn, and with the all the more so silent Meretseger, Watcher of the Dead and Queen of silence! What she radiates is different. Sigyn is tough, resilient, enduring, quiet…. but still living. Freyja, when she comes to me in a none war-like aspect, or Vanaheim-glamoury-person aspect, is completely calm. It’s not only that she is silent, it is the aura of peace that she transpires. Something that is incredibly agreeble. So, I have this terrible attraction for finding her back at the end of the day, and even though I’m working home a lot, I still get this feeling of “coming home”. Does that make sense? I wonder if other people get the some impression. She’s my refuge. I come to her for soothing and peace. I’m glad she has accepted to stay around.
So here we go! I did it. I’ll try to do more, not be shy about, and stop blocking myself.