Thanking my Lady (along with the Morrigan on the left) after my living abroad and being back to my country.
Let’s do this. This post has been on my mind the whole week, held inside my body too, such strong sensations and poetic panoramas overlapping the landscape. I’m sorry that this arrives on Saturday and not the traditional Friday, but it was meant for yesterday so. I won’t waste an occasion to speak about the lady and share my views just because of a date.
Please note that this is going to relate personal experiences, and no knowledge of the lore.
Slowly getting cosy and making a home. First altar since I got back to France. And my tarot choices for the two months of summer. #tarottribe #tarot #tarotreading #tarotreader #dailydraw #spreadoftheday #tarotreadersofinstagram #tarotdeck #tarotcollector #introspection #oraclereadersofinstagram #oracle #oracledeck #cardcollector #cardreadersofinstagram #oraclecards #summer #altar #été #summeraltar #home #hearth #polytheism #paganism #norse #freyja #morrigan #celtic
The top shrine is essentially dedicated to Freyja, and it has been installed on an old, familial piece of furniture traditional of that house near the sea. Ever since I arrived, for a reason, I felt her. I needed space for her. (For those who don’t know me and don’t follow this blog regularly, there is a formal distinction : I am devoted to the Morrigan (owned by), not Freyja; in my mind, feeling Freyja first is… somehow weird).
I had not planned on finding her here, after my return back to France (after two years in Canada). Why near the sea, and not in the North? Why not among fields and forests, and hills, and birds and falcons? But everything here resonates.
I feel her on the beach,
Step after step
My feet in the burning afternoon sand,
Or the cold sand of the evening,
Marching in her footsteps
I feel her as I walk on the shores
As the wind blows in my loose hair
As my gaze searches for the horizon
Why does it feel painful?
I am a mixture of freedom and sorrow
The world is silent but for nature’s call
I am serene
Yet I can feel that pull in my chest
The aching of my heart
A longing and a melancholy
My favorite moment is the end of the day,
When people are busy elsewhere
When the light changes colors
As the sun crosses the sky
The sea darkens and the sky lightens
I am of roses and purples
Of blues and indigos mixed with crimson red
And oranges and gold
Tainting the clouds and sky
And then I can see and feel plainly
The taste of amber
Both light and dark
Both peaceful and aching
That bloody sky and sea
I can hear now more clearly
That bitter song that has been haunting me
The Siren song, yearning and aching
I don’t remember having read anything in the Lore that corroborates, developps etc this aspect. Apart from this quote that Maris reminded me of, I have nothing in mind bu visions and impressions of the Gods:
“Freyja has many names, and this is the cause thereof: that she gave herself sundry names, when she went out among unknown peoples seeking Ódr: she is called Mardöll and Hörn, Gefn, Sýr.”
For a reason that I have never been able to explain, Freyja as a Goddess wandering on shores is associated in mind / core with a younger aspect of Freyja. It has happened to me before that certain aspects of the Gods are chronological. I see Freyja as a Valkyrie and a master of Seidhr as the latest aspects. I underlined above that “definition” to state my vision as clearly as possible: Freyja (Mardöll) is not a goddess of the Sea to me. Her younger aspect is tied to her Father’s nature, and derives from the same differenciation (which I do not justify with lore, again, this is personal experiences, might be unique) : Njord is not a God of the Sea per se; Njord is not Aegir or Ran, they both have a very distinct nature and realm of power. I see and feel Aegir and Ran as divinities from a different nature, that has been described under the following categories : “titans”, “giants”, “Jotnar”, etc. They feel intrinsically more “primal”, as beings associated with blunt natural forces. Hence, Aegir and Ran rule over what is associated with climate and pure natural laws of the sea to me: the winds, the currents, the storms, the waves, the depths. So what about Njord? I’d recommend reading lore and all instead of me on that point XD But anyway, we can say he has been associated with a more “civilized” aspect of the sea, which is more about trade and journeys, people that sails over the sea from land to land. Might be associated with fishing and the abundance of the sea shores too. It’s been a while I read on that subject. Anyway, somehow I see him closer to the land that Gods of the “deep sea” (mentionned above), not only on a metaphorical plane, but on a physical one (actual distance). Hence, I do not see Freyja-Mardöll at all as a Goddess of the “deep sea” either; She’s restricted to the shores, potentially sea travelling.
Until today, I had no remembrance of that above quote from the Lore, but my feelings and visions have remained constant over the year: I see Freyja-Mardöll as young Freyja roaming the shores, and looking over the horizon in search for a sign of Ödr ; waiting for the Lover’s return. The melancholy and the aching of the heart, and the tears of amber trailing her cheeks. I thus realized just how accurate it had been to offer her my broken heart months ago, doing that ritual of broken love, about lovers being separated by the sea (ocean). She is so representative of that sort of grieving! I have worked with her as a Healer in that sense, offering pain, sadness and all. I had not realized it since I acted on pure intuition, but it makes a lot of sense in the end. I wonder if she tried herself on the sea, as a sailor, looking for him on any coasts she could land (not sure if that’s the right English word). In a sense, she is a divine Look-out (or Vigil? or both?). A thing that I have not cracked yet, is why she feels so serene, while being in such pain at the same time.
Anyway, here we are. I’m not sure I could continue on this subject today. But here you have it, my personal feelings on that matter. I wish more people could share they experiences with Mardöll, as she is very dear to me.
Do you like regular dates in your spiritual practices? Do you like concentrating energy and intention on the same day / moment as other people’s?
A group of devotees to Freyja created a monthly rendezvous to connect to her, Freyja Prayer Day, every 2nd Friday of the month ! You can keep it simple or not, do it alone or with friends, etc !
Here goes the idea:
“On the second Friday of each Month, let’s get together and celebrate Freya wherever you are in the world.
The ritual can be as large or as small as you’d like, as simple or as complex. The important thing is that we all focus on the energy of Freya and all that she can bring to this world.
This world needs beauty, this world needs magic, this world needs fighters – Freya is all of these things and more.
If you’d like to tweet or instagram about what you did, we encourage you to use the hashtag #freyaprayerday”
Join us on Facebook to keep track of the events 🙂
At first I pushed back the idea away from me, because it seems such a clichee about romantic and sensual Goddesses that I didn’t want it… But it stuck. It stuck to the point of following me everywhere, so I made a few courteous gestures to the Lady: Ok, I get the message! Apparently She has a thing with the Smell of Roses, it’s kind of… intoxicating when She really insists on it. I am decided to have fun with it though, because it had been a really long Gods had not communicated with me through smells. So I bought an oil-perfume that I am going to dedicated to her specifically, and I found this incredible ink, seems back from the old school years of the 17eth Century! French Salons and perfumed letters, damn.
I wonder if other people have encountered Freyja through Roses.
So here is a thing. I relate a lot to Freyja as a Goddess of Shores, in the sense that she has roamed some shore for a long part of her life. There is a lot of power in these places, which were the first to call me, the first where I did magick possibly. I feel that the presence of the Lady is strong here, as Mardöll ; her story of the woman heart torn because of a far away love is strong within me. Since I had something very special on my hands, which I had tremendous difficulties getting through, I felt that a ritual was needed for me to be able to go through the process properly. All the more so since the Spirit of the Sea had been calling me for a few weeks.
Caracterictics of the ritual: sea magic, thread magic, purification, mourning ritual, relationship ritual, calling of the Spirit of the Sea, calling of Freyja in her Mardöll aspect, …
Intentions of the ritual:
Stating that the relationship that I had was Sacred. That it was a Gift made by the Lady, and that what we had was completely unexpected and magical. Any comment that I received, any hint at criticism, was felt terribly strongly within my being, as if they were almost sacrilegious. I wondered first if I was just losing my mind over it, being overpossessive and completely in denial. Then, I rather observed how I had felt and reacted through this past year, and considered on the contrary that what I was experiencing facing adversity was similar to a reaction to Taboo. Thus, I had to state how much that love meant to me, to him, to us, and how Sacred it was. I had to make it an intention to protect it from spoil and disgrace.
Letting go. I needed to be able to let things flow again. I thought I had done my hardest break ups already, but I was wrong obviously. This one tore me apart, as I had such an intense love for him, and him for me, that it seemed completely unsane and absurd to part. When I finally said goodbye to him the last day, when we had settled everything, I cried my heart out…. And for days, I couldn’t bear the lost. Everything came to mind, whereas I had taken a month to reflect on this and arrive at this decision, that I needed it. I was really afraid of calling him again, of staying stuck in the hurt and past. Which is when I decided I needed help to learn to let go, and so I conceived the ritual.
Clarifying things in order to mourn properly. I needed to state the sacredness mentionned above, the intensity of the love, but also that I was not denying everything. To myself, and to my unconscious, I needed to make clear that I wanted to keep what we had had on my wyrd, in my memory, and not throw our whole relationship away. I just needed to let go of the ties we might still had, in order to heal and grow again, to find my center back.
Note : I imagine this can be adapted to *any* kind of relationship, be it friendship or romantic relationship. Also, it could be adapted to actually separate people’s thread, and releasing a whole past, instead of preserving it. I imagine this could be adapted to work with Aphrodite or other Love and Sea Goddesses.
What I used:
- a cup to hold water and salt
- a necklace dedicated to the sea
- an object that was given to me by the person in question
- two threads of fabric to tie together, long enough so as to obtain a small “bread” plus two separate threads again after the knot (symbolising the wyrds being entertwined in the past, and now going separate ways)
- a knife (sacred if possible) to cut the cord / braid
What you would need:
- An offering for the spirits of the place (a song in my case)
- An offering for the Spirit of the sea (the necklace in my case, plus a song)
- An offering to Freyja (I had done a lot of offerings and devotions already)
Type of place needed:
The sea proper, or an actual river that goes to the sea. Eg: I did my ritual on the shores of the St Laurent River, whichs goes to the ocean. I don’t recommend using a pond, as it is associated with stagnant energies. At least you need a stream. Or, you can adapt the ritual to state that this is all symbolic since you can’t go to the sea yourselves.
Simplest of rituals work most efficiently. Here it goes.
Go to the place, introduce yourself (and your Sacred Witness if you need one; strangely introduced mine at the end, as a grateful closing).
Ask and thank the spirits of the place and the spirit of the Sea to allow you here. Make an offering — this is where I chanted.
If you need to, consecrate the space. For this ritual, I considered the place was already so charged of the energy of the river and sea (the place was really strong), and especially that day with crazy wind and currents in the river, that I didn’t needed consecrating it. I just stated that the 3 worlds were aligned. But I wanted energy to get through. (I work specifically with Heimdall for this in my rituals).
Very very important part. Purify yourself with care. I took water from the stream in the cup, added a lot of salt and stirred. Then I purified the feet, hands, solar plexus, heart, throat chraka, third eye, and crown chakra. I purified my Witness Myself, and then me.
Then, I took the sea necklace and purified it too, plus then took water from the stream to open communication between the energies, between my offering (necklace), my ritual and the Spirits of the sea.
- Core: discourse-prayer-invocation-intention.
“O Spirit of the Sea
My cup is full
I feel your pull
I heard your song
I was drawn by the lull
As I am inside this body
I can’t become as fluid as You are
But there are ways to learn
To let go, and let flow
Let go and let flow
As My Lady before me
My heart aches
My heart weeps
My Love far in the distance
Across the Ocean
I have come to Your Winds
To Your salty water and air
To wash my feet & wash my heart
Looking for purification
(note: it’s possible to do the purification at this moment, but I prefered to do it beforehand)
Will You receive the sacrifice of my sorrow and tears
As my Lady’s before me?
Will You Both teach me
How to transform pain into Gold
Pain into Treasure?
I do not deny the past
Our paths have crossed
And joined for a while
We Loved and cherished & treasured each other
Until the abundance ran out
I followed the Law
I had to let it go
Can You receive my Love?
Please welcome here the threads of our past,
I need to go a separate path for now
I need us to rest, heal and grow
I am looking for my center
For my own self
Our Love seemed as deep as the Sea
Thus I dedicate it to You
Who stood between us”
//At this point, if you did not do it before the ritual, take the two threads of fabric, tie a knot at one hand ; then braid them together remembering the past of your relationship, the joys, some key memories ; go till the middle of the threads, make a new knot, and let the rest flow freely. After, present it to the sky and/or sea, and take you knife to cut the threads after the knot, in order to separate the braided part and the loose part. Offer the braid to the stream and let it go to the sea.//
“O Bright-Lady, who roamed on the shors
How did You survive that opening,
That tearing and bleeding of the heart?
How did you survive that Loss
That missing part of Yourself?
I do not want to stay in the past
Or stuck on the shor waiting
Please help me see the horizon
Help me soothe the pain
As I offer it to the Sea”
///If emotions come to the surface as this point, this is “perfect”. The ideal would be to let tears pour into the stream/river.///
“Help me see that if the time is right
If that is Just
That He and I will meet again
Please help me find a Vessel for that Sacred Love
So that it does not consume me
Help me see that nothing is Lost
Whatever happens from now on”
//I breathed, then I release the single braid representing my former partner, and gave it to the sea, saying “Goodbye X”. I breathed, and released my own, saying “Goodbye me”. //
//At this point I needed to chant again as a way to release the past and emotions, exchanging with the Sea too. Some part I did on the shore, some part I need as I immersed my hands into the stream while singing.//
And that it is.
[Note : If I could have had it, I would also have made a paper ship out of recycled and non-treated paper, put in on the stream and burn it, as a kind of burial norse rite, to consecrate and make our Love sacred and dedicate it to sea, as was stated. ]
A Greek title must feel weird, but I have find no other term to replace it. For it is the right term, and the term that I learned this idea. And what idea is that? – “pharmakôn”, both the remedy and the poison.
It appeared suddenly to me in the shower this morning, while I was pondering of the notion of “gift”, giving, present. For Freyja’s has been adorable, sweet and caring. She has taught me much, and in a moment of great distress, she took what she could find to offer to me as a structure that could support me in order not to collapse. It felt wonderful I must say, one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. She gave me someone. A someone that could alleviate my worries, my pains, my sorrows. A someone that would take care of me, make me take care of myself also, that would love me so much… It was complete bliss after a year of darkness.
We had no plans, we lived fully, enjoyed every bit of it together. We just wanted to be together and commune. I supposed we were not “supposed to” stay together. For he arrived just before I had to move abroad. We did not want to split up, but something in us was so in disbelief that we could manage the distance. Again, we had no plans. We let things happen. We stuck, despite the 6 hours lapse, despite the absolute tearing apart that distance began to create for our relationship that was highly based on the 5 senses and communion in the present moment. We thought we would do our best. We had no plans to split, but yes, it was hard. We wanted to hold up and wait, we wanted to fight until the very end when it would be unbearable and we had no choice anylonger.
Then the gift turned bitter. I was yearning for the effects of the gift, for what “was before”, but we couldn’t have it. I tried to make sense of it but then I turned bitter. Why had the Goddess gave me something so incredible before I was to lose it? Why did she give me a present that my team seem to disapprove of? Why have such a wonderful gift, if I have to choose between him and my whole spirit family? How does it make sense?
Then, this morning, in the shower, that thought. “Gift”. Giving. And suddenly, that word, pronounced through the ages, hearing it pronounced with the voice of one of my former literary and Greek teacher. A lesson given from the Ancestors then, transmitted through occidental culture. Pharmakôn is both the remedy and the poison. Could that be the case in my story then? Can a gift stay a gift, or does a gift always turns sour after a time? Or depending on how you use it?
I wondered about the Goddess. About so many things. What would be the equivalent of pharmakôn in the Norse frame? Freyja is also a Goddess of fertility and of the land, Vanaheim sister. I thought of Fehu, Uruz… and Gebo. Can Gebo become poisonous? I had never asked myself that question in those terms. I remembered that abundance is a flux, it has to circulate, to flow. Can Gebo be just the same way, influx? Did we choke the gift? Stayed to close to it, shutting ourselves from the world? Or was the gift supposed to be temporary? Maybe we should have planted a seed, in order to regenerate something? Or be able to gather the fruit and nourish what we had ourselves?
I don’t know. I wish I did. I assume it would make sense and explain “everything”, giving me perspective. If it was given to me, then I must honor it and reflect on it, understand it. I may have been a lesson for me to learn.
So I’m late, it’s already the night, but I had promised myself I would try this today, it’s been a week already since I postoned…. so at least I’ll introduce the idea anyway.
It’s been on my mind for quite some time now. Freyja is an already well known Goddess, she doesn’t look like she’s having trouble having devotees, lovers, etc compared to some others. But I… I don’t know. I have felt an urge to write about Her, to share the love, even though I’m a nobody somewhere on the Internet, lost into the ocean of blogs. I don’t have the hubris of wanting, even hoping, to write some “Freyja’s Lovenotes”, which are so needed into the world. But, at least I wish to to talk about the sweetness of her lessons, the so well known pieces of advice on self-esteem and selfcare – but, you know, those which are so hard to follow nevertheless? If I have time, if I feel comfortable about it, I could also talk about magic teachings and Valkyrie initiations, among others, because She has a lot to teach, a lof of skills and domains. But I am unsure I’ll be able, might be to intimate. What’s very strange… is that the lessons on body, self-care, care of the mind, one’s esteem etc, are actually very difficult tasks; also, things that would put me into an uncomfortable position as it would expose some of my vulnerabilities…. But, strangely, I am directed to write about that.
I don’t feel strong enough and confident enough to do a whole month, like a “Month for Freyja” kind of thing (even if that would be awesome that everybody shared!), but I wish to propose bit by bit of Freyja’s fragments. Which would, always, be posted on Friday, even though not necessarily every Friday. It would feel easier than the huuuugggeee article I had kept as a draft (seriously) for months, maybe even a year now, which is so intimitating that I never wrote it.
For this first, introductory post, I will state something that always makes me wonder: Freyja has a strange feeling of “home” about her.
Maybe that is something that is solely linked to me, what I am, what I need, and what Face she chooses to show me, how she behaves with me. But, she has this intense, very intense totally quiet quality. Don’t get me wrong, I have worked with the very silent Sigyn, and with the all the more so silent Meretseger, Watcher of the Dead and Queen of silence! What she radiates is different. Sigyn is tough, resilient, enduring, quiet…. but still living. Freyja, when she comes to me in a none war-like aspect, or Vanaheim-glamoury-person aspect, is completely calm. It’s not only that she is silent, it is the aura of peace that she transpires. Something that is incredibly agreeble. So, I have this terrible attraction for finding her back at the end of the day, and even though I’m working home a lot, I still get this feeling of “coming home”. Does that make sense? I wonder if other people get the some impression. She’s my refuge. I come to her for soothing and peace. I’m glad she has accepted to stay around.
So here we go! I did it. I’ll try to do more, not be shy about, and stop blocking myself.