And it grows darker and darker

It’s been quite a while since I came here. I’m tired. I’m always booked and overwhelmed with work. I had such a plentiful summer in 2014, I thought I would have some relief… But no. Each time I make a step, a new trial come in. Like an unceasing process of transformation and growth. It keeps coming quicker and quicker, whereas I crave for catching my breath. This Wheel of the Year has been really strange. Darker than the usual. Full of gaps. Some Sacred Festival didn’t “happen” energetically, like they were out of the map… The World is changing. There was no break through at “Imbolc” (or else) in February, no lustration, no renewed light. And afterwards Spring was held off for quite a while. And now… I only feel the storm gathering, heavy above our heads, making me so sick I laid in bed for 4 days. Where’s the Great Queen ? And where’s Freyja ? The year is dark. I am sinking into an Ocean of introspection that is never ending.

Only the Dead remain. And Ancestors. Restless. Relentless.

I had the chance of grasping this wonderful and rare tool in order to help me anchor and work with them : prayer beads for Hyndla, our Grand-Mother, the ultimate teacher for me. The Norns are not far, but their work is heavy and they have let me rest till now… I imagine I’ll get something for them too in the near future.

( >click for more pictures< and description by the crafter,
whom I cannot recommend enough)

I’m locked away in my room, and in my mind, drifting. Shifting. Fighting. And then off to work in that ferocious world. And back again, in the room. Reading, writing, working. There are no words available for me to the world yet.

Take care.

Happy Hunting

The Dark Season is pretty rough this year. I didn’t think that could be possible, but it feels like… Wilder. A dear friend of mine posted this amazing surprising quote by poet and writer Rudyard Kipling, and it is incredibly accurate ! I couldn’t but share.

 

Now Chil the Kite brings home the night
That Mang the Bat sets free.
The herds are shut in byre and hut —
For loosed till dawn are we.
This is the hour of pride and power,
Talon and tusk and claw.
O hear the call! Good Hunting, All
That keep the Jungle Law!

A Song and A Fragment

Working, working, working like hell. Delving deeper into the spirit-worker path, and on to the road to the Morrigan and priesthood. I so wish I could tell you more, even everything, but this year has been fucking intense, and I don’t think I would be able to gather the pieces. Maybe I’ll try later. Maybe I’ll give bits here and there.

For now here’s a song. Super recent, modern, nothing to get crazy for… and yet. When I heard it there was this twist in my stomach, and my “second hearing” got poked. Because sometimes our contemporaries write simple songs that can speak of Spirits.

“Cuz I can feel the rivers
Winding through the lands
Two lines, and a poet
Like a kind old rye
You know we could talk in that language
Only we understand”

Tom Odell, “Long Way Down”.

Still working on my own devotional book to the Spirits and Gods by the way (excerpts were there on Memento). Hope you didn’t miss the anthology to the Morrigan, and something’s coming up on Charon too. It’s been the 4year anniversary of my online shrine and collective site to the Morrigan. The 5th of our first meeting. The first of my semi-professional shop (which offers coupons until November). I’ll take up the professional website as soon as I finish my current business (working on a PhD statement). Much much to do.

Polytheist Meme

I’d would like to try and come back to this blog again… After having been silence for so long. It’s unusual to me. I keep practicing in my corner, and writing in my personal grimoires, but I have been unable to share some bits in the open. Whatever one says about Galina Krasskova, she still proposes many things that help us move forward and share. I found her meme on her blog, and I think it is a really excellent idea. So, I’ll try to answer to these questions in the coming future, one at a time, very slowly. It may bring me back.

1. What wealth have the divinities brought into your life?

2. What does your tradition do to increase the power and flow of blessings?

3. How have the divinities helped you in times of adversity and violent upheaval?

4. What are some of the ways that you communicate with the divinities?

5. If you could travel anywhere on pilgrimage where would it be and what would you do?

6. What does it feel like when one receives inspiration from the divinities?

7. What offerings do you make in your tradition and why?

8. What methods of inducing altered states of conscious does your tradition have?

9. How does your tradition handle wrathful, savage and destructive divinities?

10. Have you encountered any obstacles as a result of your religion?

11. What blocks to devotion have you had to overcome?

12. What sort of festivals, memorials or seasonal observances do you keep throughout the year?

13. Have you ever found it difficult to uphold your end of a bargain with the divinities?

14. What role does mystery play in your tradition?

15. What methods does your tradition employ for protection and the warding off of malign influences?

16. What devotional goals have you set for yourself?

17. What qualities should a leader in your tradition possess?

18. What does fertility mean to you?

19. How do you incorporate movement into your worship?

20. Does your religion help you to be a better human being?

21. Have you ever had dreams or visions sent by the divinities?

22. What customs are associated with the home and family in your tradition?

23. When did it first dawn on you that the divinities are real?

24. What have you inherited from your ancestors?

Welcome Lady Freyja

And here She came. The Dis of the Vanir. The Volva. She who was among the Norse Gods I could not reach. Till two weeks ago.

It was so different from anything I had heard that I didn’t recognized her at first. I was still in disbelief when I realized that blue and ambers were her obvious symbols. She reeked…. She had Death written all over her energy. It was a big surprise, even though you once in a while that She’s the Chooser of the Slain.  While Hel is much more deep and complex, the essence of Death itself, a sense of place too, something really intricate, Freyja smelled like a dead person. I have experienced this since I’ve been a child / teenager : death is like an mark. A thing, an energy, that attach to people and modify their personal energy. It’s like a smell, a taste, and a physical sensation in my belly. Fucking scary when you’re young. Then you get “used to it”. Meaning that you don’t get so chocked anymore, but you never really get used to it. Anyway, Freyja was to my knowledge a Goddess of Ecstasy and Life, and Sex, etc etc. Thus, when I had that weird energy blow in my face, I was confused. For our first encounter, that was weird.

And then it went awry. First, I laughed – ahhhhh psychopomping, again, of course.  Second, I panicked, in full repression mode. “Why the Hell is She here ? What does She want ?” The moment where I told myself : dear Gods, I have already so much to do, I have many dear spiritual allies, I have already a Mistress, and many teachers… no more. I don’t think I can handle one more, my plate is full, I don’t see how I can manage to honor and work with a new matron goddess in the middle of everything that I am trying to making fit in a pattern already. Please. And then people around me telling me that “oh yes”, like it’s obvious and makes fucking sense… Yes, it does. I can see it does. Why am I so scared then ? So I centered, I took a deep breath, and then I said hi. I took the leap of faith, and it went fine. Small steps. I don’t see where this is headed, but it’s very accurate.

But thanks to a friend (hi Michelle) who passed on a message to me, I was put to ease, and I went around my unexpected fear. The signs piled up. An another good friend pointed me in the direction of an amazing piece of craft dedicated to her (which you can see on the left of the shot, the pouch, better views here), and I felt a “click” when I received it. It’s charged, connected. It was the right move to do. There’s blue everywhere around me now, one of my favorite color, but also the color I’ve always linked to my divination practices. Other sign, my mom gave me an old, amazing blue and black cloth for my card practices, which fitted nicely to the Lady’s demand that I dedicate her that partly (it’s the cloth on the shot). Then I went to nshrine and saw there was no shrine that included this “aspect” of Her, so I created one to honor that part as She asked. And I could go on like this. Is there a big board indicating me some sort of highway ? Maybe. I’m taking my time.

She apparently is taking the role of the Teacher. And it feels very nice, She has an amazing patience with my thick mind and my fears. I don’t think I have ever had a Spiritual Teacher before. I had to follow tracks and find the answers on my own, with the Spirits and the Gods alike. And Morrigan behaves in a very different way. Freyja is calm (for now!) and patient, and very close to me, to this world (or it is me? Am I in a in-between state without realizing?). So She’s straightforward, and I can really hear her, follow her lead. We’ll see where it goes.