A Song and A Fragment

Working, working, working like hell. Delving deeper into the spirit-worker path, and on to the road to the Morrigan and priesthood. I so wish I could tell you more, even everything, but this year has been fucking intense, and I don’t think I would be able to gather the pieces. Maybe I’ll try later. Maybe I’ll give bits here and there.

For now here’s a song. Super recent, modern, nothing to get crazy for… and yet. When I heard it there was this twist in my stomach, and my “second hearing” got poked. Because sometimes our contemporaries write simple songs that can speak of Spirits.

“Cuz I can feel the rivers
Winding through the lands
Two lines, and a poet
Like a kind old rye
You know we could talk in that language
Only we understand”

Tom Odell, “Long Way Down”.

Still working on my own devotional book to the Spirits and Gods by the way (excerpts were there on Memento). Hope you didn’t miss the anthology to the Morrigan, and something’s coming up on Charon too. It’s been the 4year anniversary of my online shrine and collective site to the Morrigan. The 5th of our first meeting. The first of my semi-professional shop (which offers coupons until November). I’ll take up the professional website as soon as I finish my current business (working on a PhD statement). Much much to do.

C for Communication

I wanted to participate to the circle of thought since last year, but it seemed I was never inspired to do anything, and not in time. So I dropped it. I wrote my own articles. But it may change with time, I may participate in a chaotic way. When I can. And so came a first post, unexpectedly. I’ve been pondering lately, with brand new experiences piling up, new debates on the sphere… What is divine communication, how does it work ? Nothing new under the sun I guess, but I wanted to just gather my own thoughts here.

Divine communication takes time and work 

I’ve always wondered how was organized the spirituality and practice of people who don’t hear things. Do they work a lot with their Gods ? In terms of hours when they do, and in terms of regularity ? I worked my ass off. I was an “atheist pagan”, and one day, following the signs, I decided to be Pascalian and have a test : I let myself a year, a full year of “suspension of disbelief” to see if the Gods existed and responded to my call. It was followed by six months of preparation (I had to wait until I entered a sort of pagan online class, more like resources). And they did. After 6 months, maybe even less, they responded. At first I felt nothing, nothing while speaking or praying, nothing when I did offerings. Really nothing. But one day, as I was lying outside on a bench, I had my first encounter with the old Gods : A Goddess made a step toward me and touched / activated my heart-chakra as I called her. I was so surprised that I couldn’t believe it. I observed myself and around me, I touched my body… but no there was nothing that could explain this sudden warmth and vibration inside of me. It was not summer yet, and it was the end of the day, it was rather cool. She had answered, and produced the only response I could accept : not an omen, not a sound, but a physical sensation. That was my sign, and from there I turned into a polytheist and never let go of them.

But I didn’t make it all in one day. Even this sign was really subtle, and I didn’t start having tons of them afterwards. I still continued doing offerings when I didn’t feel anything, and prayed. I was blind for so long. But then I started feeling the essence of the Gods : first it’s the intellectual understanding of who they are, meditations. I read others speaking about their relationships, on forums and blogs yes, the famous ones, etc etc. But for me, only then it turned into very small energetical hints. I still practiced “blindly” even though I knew they responded in their way. I was energy blind for a long time, but sometimes I could still get signs and omens from my Gods. Synchronicities and all. So yes, we “communicated”. I’ve put work into it, and all my heart.

So I wonder – was I “priviledged” as some people say ? Did I get a response because I have the “natural wire” ? Or was I just persistent enough ? I have no answer…. but I believe, or hope, that people just don’t work with enough heart sometimes, and mostly that they just don’t recognise the signs. I hope it won’t sound condescending, I really mean it in a positive way. I was a newby for long, it took me 5 years to get where I am now, and I still have many difficulties. I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t feel energy, I could not correctly look at the right omens etc. But now I do. And I think that people are rather “blind” to their own signs, as I will see below.

Divine communication is multiple and personal

To put it shortly :

  • it depends on each person
  • it depends on the Gods
  • it depends on your spiritual phase and energy
  • it depends on time
  • it depends on the nature of what you are looking at
  • it depends on your observations skills

First things firsts. When we talk of “communication”, we all think about conversation, because of the godphone metaphor. People have already talked about how it is highly different from conversation (like Del did here but I also found other posts here and there) but I want to stress that pattern. Everyone should just remember their own language and good sense : “communication” does not only mean verbal communication. Communication is wide. Communication is like an atom : it is a pattern, a movement, a back and forth. Waves. It can be energetic, it can be musical, it can be colors… anything that vibrates. Your body, physical sensations. Visions. Chakras. Etc.

It depends on each person. You have to experiment, and “know thyself” ! How do YOU work ? How does your brain work ? and your spiritual part ? Are you a visual or a kinetic person ? Auditory ? Or do you respond to smells better ? Yes, it depends on your observations skills. Observe. Observe, observe, observe, because the first trick is to know ourselves. And when you try to do that, you are actually in the right receptive mode : receptive to observe, but also, in fact, receptive to receive. That’s when the Gods will start getting at you, if they want. Because you’ll be in a position, I think, where you look at things for what they are. You’ll look at signs from the exterior, without doubt or certainty : the signs will be facts, and you’ll analyze them, and only then will you decide what to do of them.

It depends on the Gods of course. Each God will speak in very different modes, don’t expect them to speak in a specific way, otherwise you won’t get the signs they send you. It depends on the nature of what you are looking at: it took me time to get rid of expectations and observe how differently I worked depending on the Gods. Working with primal Gods helped me a lot for example. It taught me how to get rid of verbal language and make room for other languages. I worked with Jormungandr mainly, “He” is just different in any way. He helped me get in touch with my primal / animal side, and thus to feel things. It is how I work most of the time in fact, but I was not aware of it, and thus I was blocking it. He helped me feel, with my body, and my senses, and my “sensors”. Sometimes I got images, but everything with him was feeling through my senses. A taste in my mouth, a shudder on my skin, a physical sensation of the body. Another recent example is the Egyptian God Nefertum : he opened my olfactive sense. I have always been a very “sensual” person, and my sense of smell is developed, I got it from my mother. But until recently, I didn’t use it in my practice, and it just didn’t make “sense” (bad joke). They were just smells you know, they didn’t mean anything. But He came in, and I was assailed by smells ! They were sent my way non stop. And thus, I realized that smells vibrate just like colors, and that they can carry information, and thus make sense. Be a full language, and not only sensations. Now my work with Nefertum uses this bridge, and it can be used with other Gods.

It depends on your spiritual phase and energy + time. We should not forget that energies are by essence moving. Ours, and everything around us. Thus, we should not expect to be written in stone, like : I will always communicate with the Gods through vision, or I will always communicate with X Gods through hearing. Nope, that doesn’t work that way. We shift. It’s natural. It can be just temporary, or we can have very long phases of 10 years (for example), depending on what shifts : our persona, our brain, …. Sometimes we are not receptive in the same way, and so we have to adjust our conscience and our observation point. Contrary to the other Gods with whom I communicate through signs, synchronicities, visions, etc, The Morrigan is the Goddess to which I am totally wired. I can hear her, in many different ways. Either internal like telepathy, sometimes I guess with words. But she will just not communicate this way with me all the time. Depends on the phase of my development (and also depending on which aspect of herself she shows). Recently, she’s started to speak to me just like Jormungandr, through my body and my guts. It works like that with any God or Pantheon. Sometimes, we are not in the right “mood”, or energetical position to open the door to them. For a long time before a month ago, the Egyptian world was closed to me. I loved them, but it was intellectual and I got no response from them (except for one Goddess). But now I’m moved forward in my development, back to the body and the senses, or whatever. Anyway I had my “Egyptian break-through” ! Now the door is open, and I’ll be able to get there when i wish to or if they need to. And in months, I may not be able to see the door because my energies will be different, but I’ll just have to wait now the door is open. It evolves all the time.

Well, I think that’s pretty much all I had in mind.

EDIT : I should add as a conclusion that once you’ve started knowing yourself, how you work, and how your gods communicate, it will also help you find what your tools are ! No one needs to have everything on an altar, practice should be so personal and not necessarily material. What materials you need, and also how you work, what your offerings are, your ritual frames…

  • If you work through the sense of smell, think about what triggers you most : lively plants in jars ? dried plants ? Incense ? essential oils ? etc.
  • If you work through vision, find your own support or make them : tarot cards ? pictures ? drawing ? paintings ?
  • If you work through body sensations, practice sport. Martial art or chinese Qi Gong and Tai Chi are excellent to develop body consciousness. Or anything that works with you.
  • If it’s more “touch” than body, find cloths, woods, stones… textures than triggers you.

EDIT 2 : to complete this article, I found a post  on the language of omens.
EDIT 3 : a long summary about “godphone” and not, how / what you do, good articles etc. + an article that explains how to be cautious with signs and omens (even if I don’t necessarily agree about everything).
EDIT 4 : an excellent method to check your so called godphone

Let Your Voice Be Heard

Sometimes the Spirits really throw things harshly at my head, just to be sure I really get the message.

It’s been a few years since I’ve known that I have something particular to do, running from it yet coming back to it, because I acknowledge the power it holds. But I keep hearing it. “Sing”. Recently signs pile up very quickly, but smoothly…. and yet, tonight, I got thrown at again. This is my “music magic” part II. I had a very sudden need to find a song I had heard only once during a French Show. The voice had everything I love, but I didn’t know the lyrics at all, and I thought it was going to disappoint me, because such singers nowadays appear to sing only love songs…. but no ! It actually wasn’t so, and They showed me what it’s about, and what it’s about for me :

You’ve got the words to change a nation
but you’re biting your tongue
You’ve spent a life time stuck in silence
afraid you’ll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?
So come, on come on
Come on, come on
You’ve got a heart as loud as lions
So why let your voice be tamed?
Baby we’re a little different
there’s no need to be ashamed
You’ve got the light to fight the shadows
so stop hiding it away
Come on, Come on

I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream till the words dry out
so put it in all of the papers,
i’m not afraid
they can read all about it
read all about it

So yep, the message is clear. As much as I “hate” it… it’s literal.

I’m so relieved I’ve got my collection moving forward piece by piece… how harsh would have the reminder been if it weren’t so ? But as far as singing is concerned… God knows how difficult it’s going to be for me.

(Actually not the show I saw months before, apparently she did several in France. I also advise you to listen to the studio version, which is quicker, has more rhythm)

A little bit of “music magic”…

It’s my turn. I thought it would never happen to me, that it was not my thing…

But here I am, and the Spirits are starting to speak to me through music. Simbi and LaSirene come to me when I am in the shower to celebrate (*winks to Seastruck*), they put songs in my head, sing with me. My guides also start using the music I play on my computer. To give you an idea, why this is so new to me : I’ve not listened to music properly for years. It disturbs me. When I put music on, it disturbs my other activities, I can’t read, I can’t think… My head is already to full and loud, and so I’ve always looked for silence (at least it’s been 5 years I think). But now ? Now that my flat was sealed by Simbi and LaSirene, I HEAR music all the time ! I need to put music on, I need to sing. And today what I read on the internet several time happened to me.  Exact same experience. I dig up an old album and play it for the nostalgy, as a background music. I write my emails… and then I stop. My heart and head are vibrating, and I hear a sentence ring like a bell in my head. I try to repeat it to actually be aware of it, and … “haha” moment. Of course, oh my, shit, …. I get it.

Stupid old song I loved before, never thought about the lyrics : Alanis Morissette – Head Over Feet

And just for fun, I will show you the passages that could apply to so many “spirit-workers” and people who were called (to be general) :

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I’m a princess
I’m not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You’ve already won me over in spite of me
Don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn’t help it
It’s all your fault

You’re love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You’re so much braver than I gave you credit for
That’s not lip service

You’ve already won me over in spite of me
Don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn’t help it
It’s all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You’re the best listener that I’ve ever met
You’re my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I’ve never felt this healthy before
I’ve never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

You’ve already won me over in spite of me
Don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn’t help it
It’s all your fault