A deep bafflement… I’m disturbed since I read it.
– Because of the content, about my “path” : I wondered about being a “prietess” or something similar for two years, and then I abruptly changed my mind because I feel unable, or full of pride. But here comes the God, talking about leadership in spirituality… I’m so stunned.
– Because of the allusion to “The Mothers”. Who are they ? Something makes me think I know, deep under the surface, but still, I can’t figure.
This night I made a dream about Him, about the oracle. The perspective was given to me, revealing the angle to access the meaning and I remember the “AAAAAAAhhhhhhhhh ok, that’s it”. But it was during a very deep period of sleep and I can’t remember a damn’ thing since I woke up ! Why the Hell ? How to find back the vision ?
Damn’ I think I am scared…
I worked with Dionysos during my adolescence, since I studied the whole Greek pantheon. My patron Goddess was Artemis, but still, I felt something special for Dionysos. But today as I look back, I think I was just looking at the surface of an endless well. I grew up, became more lucid ; I went through many many spiritual transformations ; I chose a pantheon close to my land… And I think I can really better understand the sacred and the Gods. But even if I studied latin and greek, translated many texts, Dionysos has always been one of the most complicated, weird, hard to approach. And today, I realise that He’s coming near me. No, in fact, He’s been by side for some time but I couldn’t see. And now I realise He’s expecting things from me…. but I don’t know what and why. I feel so surprised, so humble… I really feel little, even tiny, a tiny little believer who’s lost, who don’t know what to do to welcome this God, how to listen, what to say, … so imagine how worst it is to know how to understand this wild God and the messages He’s sent.
So Yes, I’m scared. I’m a tiny ant, feeling the Earth shaking, feeling the huge shadow of the God falling upon me.
Program to schedule :
– libations to thank for the oracle
– prayer to write and offer to Him
– planning to go to my Sacred Grove and meditate to welcome Him, try to be receptive
… maybe much more, depending on my time and “inspiration”.