Freyja’s Friday (8) : The Lady and the Sea

Let’s do this. This post has been on my mind the whole week, held inside my body too, such strong sensations and poetic panoramas overlapping the landscape. I’m sorry that this arrives on Saturday and not the traditional Friday, but it was meant for yesterday so. I won’t waste an occasion to speak about the lady and share my views just because of a date.

Please note that this is going to relate personal experiences, and no knowledge of the lore.

The top shrine is essentially dedicated to Freyja, and it has been installed on an old, familial piece of furniture traditional of that house near the sea. Ever since I arrived, for a reason, I felt her. I needed space for her. (For those who don’t know me and don’t follow this blog regularly, there is a formal distinction : I am devoted to the Morrigan (owned by), not Freyja; in my mind, feeling Freyja first is… somehow weird).

I had not planned on finding her here, after my return back to France (after two years in Canada).  Why near the sea, and not in the North? Why not among fields and forests, and hills, and birds and falcons? But everything here resonates.

I feel her on the beach,
Step after step
My feet in the burning afternoon sand,
Or the cold sand of the evening,

Marching in her footsteps
I feel her as I walk on the shores
As the wind blows in my loose hair
As my gaze searches for the horizon

Why does it feel painful?
I am a mixture of freedom and sorrow
The world is silent but for nature’s call
I am serene
Yet I can feel that pull in my chest
The aching of my heart
A longing and a melancholy
Why ?

My favorite moment is the end of the day,
When people are busy elsewhere
When the light changes colors
As the sun crosses the sky
The sea darkens and the sky lightens

I am of roses and purples
Of blues and indigos mixed with crimson red
And oranges and gold
Tainting the clouds and sky

And then I can see and feel plainly
The taste of amber
Both light and dark
Both peaceful and aching
That bloody sky and sea

I can hear now more clearly
That bitter song that has been haunting me
The Siren song, yearning and aching

Mardöll by Maris Pai aka, Marisvision

I don’t remember having read anything in the Lore that corroborates, developps etc this aspect. Apart from this quote that Maris reminded me of, I have nothing in mind bu visions and impressions of the Gods:

“Freyja has many names, and this is the cause thereof: that she gave herself sundry names, when she went out among unknown peoples seeking Ódr: she is called Mardöll and Hörn, Gefn, Sýr.”

– Gylfaginning.

For a reason that I have never been able to explain, Freyja as a Goddess wandering on shores is associated in  mind / core with a younger aspect of Freyja. It has happened to me before that certain aspects of the Gods are chronological. I see Freyja as a Valkyrie and a master of Seidhr as the latest aspects. I underlined above that “definition” to state my vision as clearly as possible: Freyja (Mardöll) is not a goddess of the Sea to me. Her younger aspect is tied to her Father’s nature, and derives from the same differenciation (which I do not justify with lore, again, this is personal experiences, might be unique) : Njord is not a God of the Sea per se; Njord is not Aegir or Ran, they both have a very distinct nature and realm of power. I see and feel Aegir and Ran as divinities from a different nature, that has been described under the following categories : “titans”, “giants”, “Jotnar”, etc. They feel intrinsically more “primal”, as beings associated with blunt natural forces. Hence, Aegir and Ran rule over what is associated with climate and pure natural laws of the sea to me: the winds, the currents, the storms, the waves, the depths. So what about Njord? I’d recommend reading lore and all instead of me on that point XD But anyway, we can say he has been associated with a more “civilized” aspect of the sea, which is more about trade and journeys, people that sails over the sea from land to land. Might be associated with fishing and the abundance of the sea shores too. It’s been a while I read on that subject. Anyway, somehow I see him closer to the land that Gods of the “deep sea” (mentionned above), not only on a metaphorical plane, but on a physical one (actual distance). Hence, I do not see Freyja-Mardöll at all as a Goddess of the “deep sea” either; She’s restricted to the shores, potentially sea travelling.

Until today, I had no remembrance of that above quote from the Lore, but my feelings and visions have remained constant over the year: I see Freyja-Mardöll as young Freyja roaming the shores, and looking over the horizon in search for a sign of Ödr ; waiting for the Lover’s return. The melancholy and the aching of the heart, and the tears of amber trailing her cheeks. I thus realized just how accurate it had been to offer her my broken heart months ago, doing that ritual of broken love, about lovers being separated by the sea (ocean). She is so representative of that sort of grieving! I have worked with her as a Healer in that sense, offering pain, sadness and all. I had not realized it since I acted on pure intuition, but it makes a lot of sense in the end. I wonder if she tried herself on the sea, as a sailor, looking for him on any coasts she could land (not sure if that’s the right English word). In a sense, she is a divine Look-out (or Vigil? or both?). A thing that I have not cracked yet, is why she feels so serene, while being in such pain at the same time.

Anyway, here we are. I’m not sure I could continue on this subject today.  But here you have it, my personal feelings on that matter. I wish more people could share they experiences with Mardöll, as she is very dear to me.


Reflexions on Aphrodite


Of the nature of women and Aphrodite’s Grace

I was appealed to to ponder about the nature of women cycles…. and my wandering lead me to Aphrodite again. Here is the part I wrote for a little thought “game” about cycles :

Despite the mainstream cliché, it is true that cycles are our womanly nature. Maybe not for what is most often believed to be.
Ok, our perioud and blood are the origin of life, and contrary to men, we bear life from beginning to end. That is what is accepted as one main difference (biologically) between men and women, what makes us who we are.

This is wonderful, and true, but it is not to be emphasized or simplified too much. The process of our womb is very much complicated, intricate, and it does affect our whole body, not just our womb. This is why we are not just womb on legs as some say, or as some feminists portray us without realising.

What really counts is that our period cycle is just the beginning of who we are. It is just one cycle among other womanly cycles. (cycles inside cycles, circles inside circles?). I would dare say : women are cycles, and  circles. Our wombs are often represented as such in the imagery, as a cup, or as a circle. A circle coincides to the watery and cyclical nature of the womb cycle. But there is more to it, because it coincides to the womanly genre in general. We are cycles, we are
cyclical. Contrary to men, and that is the main difference (but it is controversial because genres are also constructed, and there are great reflexions to make about transgender, but it is not the place) – so contrary to men who are linear, women ar cyclical. Our moods, our hormones, our periods… we are like the other (black) face of the moons. This is why we can be so much sensentive to the moon. You cannot tell looking at a woman in which phase she is, how she is going to be just next, but she definitely is under the influence of some cycle. The ebb and flow of woman energies and other things that a
are complex.

And I’d like to add a point. The ebb and flow obviously send us to an unstable or changing nature such as water, and the sea. There Aphrodite begins to show up, since she is born of the sea… But it then came to my mind, that those earthly cycles are in fact set in motion because of other cycles : the one of the moon first, and maybe others. So what a perfect picture which includes both the microcosm and the macrocosm of the Universe ! And there Aphrodite reveals in plain sight as I wrote before, since she is so cosmic and whole… Isn’t it some grace that we women are bound to the same processes of this Goddess in a way ?

I never stop learning.

Prayer to Ran (updated)

I had a nice encounter with this so strange Goddess, which seems to be inexistant for most heathens. Poor her. I was touched, and I wrote to her.

[Update] I join here as an illustration a mandala drawing I drew for Ran (click to get the larger picture).

They fear the Wrath of the Sea
They fear your tempests (storms)

Ran, Goddess of the Sea,
Men fear your huge net
Because they have not understood
That without it they are lost

They fear the Wrath of the Sea
They fear your tempests (storms)

O Ran, Great Ran,
May you catch my soul into your net
If my turn may come,
To help me find the way
To eternal rest