And it grows darker and darker

It’s been quite a while since I came here. I’m tired. I’m always booked and overwhelmed with work. I had such a plentiful summer in 2014, I thought I would have some relief… But no. Each time I make a step, a new trial come in. Like an unceasing process of transformation and growth. It keeps coming quicker and quicker, whereas I crave for catching my breath. This Wheel of the Year has been really strange. Darker than the usual. Full of gaps. Some Sacred Festival didn’t “happen” energetically, like they were out of the map… The World is changing. There was no break through at “Imbolc” (or else) in February, no lustration, no renewed light. And afterwards Spring was held off for quite a while. And now… I only feel the storm gathering, heavy above our heads, making me so sick I laid in bed for 4 days. Where’s the Great Queen ? And where’s Freyja ? The year is dark. I am sinking into an Ocean of introspection that is never ending.

Only the Dead remain. And Ancestors. Restless. Relentless.

I had the chance of grasping this wonderful and rare tool in order to help me anchor and work with them : prayer beads for Hyndla, our Grand-Mother, the ultimate teacher for me. The Norns are not far, but their work is heavy and they have let me rest till now… I imagine I’ll get something for them too in the near future.

( >click for more pictures< and description by the crafter,
whom I cannot recommend enough)

I’m locked away in my room, and in my mind, drifting. Shifting. Fighting. And then off to work in that ferocious world. And back again, in the room. Reading, writing, working. There are no words available for me to the world yet.

Take care.

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Spirits are always right

– It’s just that we misinterpret.

A very controversial sentence indeed, but on purpose, to make people think about it. Spirits and Gods sometimes fool us, we know that, either just to be “mean” or to test us. But most of the time, when they send you a vision, a message, I think it’s true.

At least for myself it has always been true since the very beginning. And I thought about an experience that I had “forgotten” for 6 months : a shapeshifting with the ant, that I supposed was of no “importance”, or not a message sent on purpose at least. Yet it came at a very crucial moment : my retirement from the internet and the city, during the summer holiday, my annual trip when I can disappear into nature and contemplation. I was thus pondering on the past year and my struggling with the Gods, with my path. In the afternoon under the sun, in the sand of the garden, I was wondering if I had the strength and guts to take a spiritual “charge”/function as I looked for (and was shown to me) when I made this very short but intense experience : I made a short “trip” into the life of an ant (shapeshifting). Considering my little tiny size and the huge size of the entreprise (the public charge), I felt ridicule and unappropriate, I even thought my ego had won over me. So I decided to take this as a sign of the need to work in the shadow, to learn humility.

But in August when I came back and talked to Sannion, he offered me a different perspective – which revealed itself to me true one month ago :

The ant is indeed a small and humble creature – but that’s not what truly stands out about them, or at least didn’t for the ancients. The ant devotes its whole life, its whole being to its work. It has no interests, no social ties outside of the work that it does. Continually it’s storing up food, building tunnels, etc. while the other insects play. Maybe what the vision is indicating is that that is likewise the path of priesthood you should pursue, a path of service and dedication.

I guess it was not just a random experience, it was really a test and message from the Spirits and Gods, and I misinterpreted it for 6 months. So what ? They came back rushing onto me (see the previous article) in order to show me directly this time without possible errror. Sannion, my friend, you were right from the beginning. The ant is a metaphor of my spiritual life to come, a very hard life of complete service and devotion, of charges and responsabilities, because they chose so, and because I have the abilities.