Freyja’s Friday (3): A Mourning Ritual

So here is a thing. I relate a lot to Freyja as a Goddess of Shores, in the sense that she has roamed some shore for a long part of her life. There is a lot of power in these places, which were the first to call me, the first where I did magick possibly. I feel that the presence of the Lady is strong here, as Mardöll ; her story of the woman heart torn because of a far away love is strong within me. Since I had something very special on my hands, which I had tremendous difficulties getting through, I felt that a ritual was needed for me to be able to go through the process properly. All the more so since the Spirit of the Sea had been calling me for a few weeks.

Caracterictics of the ritual: sea magic, thread magic, purification, mourning ritual, relationship ritual, calling of the Spirit of the Sea, calling of Freyja in her Mardöll aspect, …

Intentions of the ritual:

Stating that the relationship that I had was Sacred. That it was a Gift made by the Lady, and that what we had was completely unexpected and magical. Any comment that I received, any hint at criticism, was felt terribly strongly within my being, as if they were almost sacrilegious. I wondered first if I was just losing my mind over it, being overpossessive and completely in denial. Then, I rather observed how I had felt and reacted through this past year, and considered on the contrary that what I was experiencing facing adversity was similar to a reaction to Taboo. Thus, I had to state how much that love meant to me, to him, to us, and how Sacred it was. I had to make it an intention to protect it from spoil and disgrace.

Letting go. I needed to be able to let things flow again. I thought I had done my hardest break ups already, but I was wrong obviously. This one tore me apart, as I had such an intense love for him, and him for me, that it seemed completely unsane and absurd to part. When I finally said goodbye to him the last day, when we had settled everything, I cried my heart out…. And for days, I couldn’t bear the lost. Everything came to mind, whereas I had taken a month to reflect on this and arrive at this decision, that I needed it. I was really afraid of calling him again, of staying stuck in the hurt and past. Which is when I decided I needed help to learn to let go, and so I conceived the ritual.

Clarifying things in order to mourn properly. I needed to state the sacredness mentionned above, the intensity of the love, but also that I was not denying everything. To myself, and to my unconscious, I needed to make clear that I wanted to keep what we had had on my wyrd, in my memory, and not throw our whole relationship away. I just needed to let go of the ties we might still had, in order to heal and grow again, to find my center back.

Note : I imagine this can be adapted to *any* kind of relationship, be it friendship or romantic relationship. Also, it could be adapted to actually separate people’s thread, and releasing a whole past, instead of preserving it. I imagine this could be adapted to work with Aphrodite or other Love and Sea Goddesses.

What I used:

  • a cup to hold water and salt
  • salt
  • a necklace dedicated to the sea
  • an object that was given to me by the person in question
  • two threads of fabric to tie together, long enough so as to obtain a small “bread” plus two separate threads again after the knot (symbolising the wyrds being entertwined in the past, and now going separate ways)
  • a knife (sacred if possible) to cut the cord / braid

What you would need:

  • An offering for the spirits of the place (a song in my case)
  • An offering for the Spirit of the sea (the necklace in my case, plus a song)
  • An offering to Freyja (I had done a lot of offerings and devotions already)

Type of place needed:

The sea proper, or an actual river that goes to the sea. Eg: I did my ritual on the shores of the St Laurent River, whichs goes to the ocean. I don’t recommend using a pond, as it is associated with stagnant energies. At least you need a stream. Or, you can adapt the ritual to state that this is all symbolic since you can’t go to the sea yourselves.


Simplest of rituals work most efficiently. Here it goes.

  • Opening.

Go to the place, introduce yourself (and your Sacred Witness if you need one; strangely introduced mine at the end, as a grateful closing).
Ask and thank the spirits of the place and the spirit of the Sea to allow you here. Make an offering — this is where I chanted.

  • Consecration.

If you need to, consecrate the space. For this ritual, I considered the place was already so charged of the energy of the river and sea (the place was really strong), and especially that day with crazy wind and currents in the river, that I didn’t needed consecrating it. I just stated that the 3 worlds were aligned. But I wanted energy to get through. (I work specifically with Heimdall for this in my rituals).

  • Purification.

Very very important part. Purify yourself with care. I took water from the stream in the cup, added a lot of salt and stirred. Then I purified the feet, hands, solar plexus, heart, throat chraka, third eye, and crown chakra. I purified my Witness Myself, and then me.

Then, I took the sea necklace and purified it too, plus then took water from the stream to open communication between the energies, between my offering (necklace), my ritual and the Spirits of the sea.

  • Core: discourse-prayer-invocation-intention.

“O Spirit of the Sea
My cup is full
I feel your pull
I heard your song
I was drawn by the lull

As I am inside this body
I can’t become as fluid as You are
But there are ways to learn
To let go, and let flow
Let go and let flow

As My Lady before me
My heart aches
My heart weeps
My Love far in the distance
Across the Ocean

I have come to Your Winds
To Your salty water and air
To wash my feet &  wash my heart
Looking for purification

(note: it’s possible to do the purification at this moment, but I prefered to do it beforehand)

Will You receive the sacrifice of my sorrow and tears
As my Lady’s before me?
Will You Both teach me
How to transform pain into Gold
Pain into Treasure?

I do not deny the past
Our paths have crossed
And joined for a while
We Loved and cherished & treasured each other
Until the abundance ran out
I followed the Law
I had to let it go

Can You receive my Love?
Please welcome here the threads of our past,
I need to go a separate path for now
I need us to rest, heal and grow
I am looking for my center
For my own self

Our Love seemed as deep as the Sea
Thus I dedicate it to You
Who stood between us”

//At this point, if you did not do it before the ritual, take the two threads of fabric, tie a knot at one hand ; then braid them together remembering the past of your relationship, the joys, some key memories ; go till the middle of the threads, make a new knot, and let the rest flow freely. After, present it to the sky and/or sea, and take you knife to cut the threads after the knot, in order to separate the braided part and the loose part. Offer the braid to the stream and let it go to the sea.//

“O Bright-Lady, who roamed on the shors
How did You survive that opening,
That tearing and bleeding of the heart?
How did you survive that Loss
That missing part of Yourself?

I do not want to stay in the past
Or stuck on the shor waiting
Please help me see the horizon
Help me soothe the pain
As I offer it to the Sea”

///If emotions come to the surface as this point, this is “perfect”. The ideal would be to let tears pour into the stream/river.///

“Help me see that if the time is right
If that is Just
That He and I will meet again
Please help me find a Vessel for that Sacred Love
So that it does not consume me
Help me see that nothing is Lost
Whatever happens from now on”

//I breathed, then I  release the single braid representing my former partner, and gave it to the sea, saying “Goodbye X”. I breathed, and released my own, saying “Goodbye me”. //

//At this point I needed to chant again as a way to release the past and emotions, exchanging with the Sea too. Some part I did on the shore, some part I need as I immersed my hands into the stream while singing.//

And that it is.

[Note : If I could have had it, I would also have made a paper ship out of recycled and non-treated paper, put in on the stream and burn it, as a kind of burial norse rite, to consecrate and make our Love sacred and dedicate it to sea, as was stated. ]