First step towards Morrigan initiation

Here we are.

I couldn’t feel, I couldn’t practice, I was in doubt, maybe even shameful. I thought I was unable and unworthy of this so powerful Goddess, Morrigan. But after the trial, she showed me that she can have great patience and indulgence. She reassured me, showed me she trusts me. It’s a huge gift, it’s even more humbling than anything. It took me many signs to see, many crow messengers, sharing experience with other people, even, an oracle from Dionysos, but now I see very clearly. And I do not only see ; I took the part of action and experienced, faced her.

During a rather short ritual, a Full Moon ritual, I chose to express and show that I had acknowledge her message. And in order to be able to go on down the road to her, I wanted to purify myself. So did I, physically and spiritually… But then came the vision, the unexpected event, little event, but which has a depth I can’t share through words. I went through the first step of my initiation I guess. I learned many things, crucial “tools” to be her servant and work with her. She purified me herself, and tested me. So that I can learn to trust her blindfully, saving me from death ; plus I learned to handle my fear. It must not be rejected or suppressed. It must be there, integrated in your being, being one with yourself. And so did I, ‘accidentally’. It’s a weird state because on the one hand you can still feel you fear (but muffled), and on the other hand it creates peace and energy (ecstasy?) which drives you forward. It’s the strength of the Warrior. Maybe now I’m a Warrior of the Great Queen. I can feel it… I feel so humble she taught me those things, and affirmed to me that I’m worthy, that she trusts me.

The details can be seen on the Temple’s page.

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The Forest is Alive !

I guess that what is puzzling with shamanism is that you do not see your own progress. – And that is my case.

I have a very lovely forest near my place and I go there quite often with my parents or with my best friend. For months now, I have acquired a sort of ritual each time I go. As we go up the hill I focus on the intention, I begin to connect with the forest. Before, I just imagined, or rather visualise, I guess, or I concentrated on details willingly. It was very naive. Now I have learned to really open my mind, to alter my consciousness state, and I really get things. It is so that the wind tells me the right direction, offers me an interesting odour to reflect upon, the sun reveals invisible details, I’m able to see the very tiny particules of life everywhere even under the leaves and in the shade. I thought I would never be able to do it, but finally I can the “locus animi”, the Spirit of the Forest, and all the elemental, small spirits, nymphs, whatever. And the Forest is SO alive ! The colors are deep, the sounds are endless, life is everywhere to be observed, tracks of wild animals,  … And so many signs, so many coïncidence. I had an amazing encounter with 5 deers on the path as I asked to the Forest to meet my Totem ! I can asked for secret ways, sometimes I see doors, moving shadows, and I even heard the Spirits speak. The rhythm of the walk, the rhythm of the breath, the visual effect of my pendulum/wheeling prayer beads, the effect of the soil under my moving feet, all this is a thread to follow for trance to happen and it is really efficient even if I’m just a beginner.

My work with the Spirits is becoming intense. And I have so much to do.

I feel so Alive. I feel so blessed and grateful.